Audience Performance Appraisal & Disciplinary Review
Employee: Simon Walton
Department: Fringe Radio
Position: Audience Member / Professional Show Reviewer
Appraisal status: Subject to formal review
Line manager: HR The Musical
Employee representative: Hugh Brown, Shop Steward
1. Purpose of Meeting
This meeting has been convened to assess the employee’s suitability for continued attendance at live comedy performances, following his attendance at H.R. The Musical.
The employee was accompanied by Hugh Brown, Fringe Radio’s shop steward. This was considered prudent, given his previous experience of HR meetings and his well-founded belief that entering one unrepresented is generally the first step towards being escorted from the building.
2. Performance Against Objectives
Objective 1: Demonstrate appropriate engagement with workplace satire.
Rating: Exceeds expectations.
The employee engaged exceptionally well with the material, particularly the sketches concerning recruitment, restructuring, DEI, AI, emails, meetings and the general experience of being employed.
He reported feeling as though he was personally up for disciplinary action throughout the performance.
This is considered a positive outcome.
Indeed, it may have been the best disciplinary hearing he has ever attended.
Objective 2: Demonstrate team-player behaviours.
Rating: Outstanding.
The employee demonstrated excellent collaborative behaviours by bringing a union representative.
This showed initiative, stakeholder awareness and a commendable commitment to collective bargaining.
3. Areas for Development
The employee should consider whether his professional background has left him excessively familiar with workplace dysfunction.
It was noted that performer Mika Austin actually worked as an HR manager. This provides the show with an alarming level of authenticity and may explain why several audience members appeared to recognise their own workplaces with the expression normally associated with receiving a P45.
The employee should also review his social-media strategy.
It is believed that H.R. The Musical may be the only Fringe act whose Facebook following is smaller than its LinkedIn connections.
This should not, however, be regarded as a performance deficiency. Quite the opposite: it demonstrates a powerful commitment to professional networking.
4. Behavioural Competencies
Communication: Exceptional.
Teamwork: Excellent.
Resilience: Exceeds expectations.
Ability to survive pointless meetings: Demonstrated.
Tolerance of corporate jargon: Dangerously high.
Resistance to restructuring: Currently under review.
Response to AI: Human performance satisfactory.
Engagement with DEI: Fully compliant.
Ability to laugh at workplace trauma: Outstanding.
5. Disciplinary Finding
The employee is found guilty of enjoying himself at work-related comedy.
Aggravating factors include laughing at highly recognisable workplace situations, identifying with material concerning HR processes and voluntarily attending a performance that contains the words “performance review” in spirit if not in the employee handbook.
Mitigating factors include the quality of the performers, the originality of the material and the fact that the employee brought union representation.
6. Final Recommendation
Following a full and transparent appraisal process, H.R. The Musical is deemed to have significantly exceeded expectations.
It is therefore recommended that the production receive an immediate bonus, promotion and enhanced benefits package, subject to budgetary approval and the usual pointless consultation process.
As for the employee, his continued attendance at H.R. The Musical is approved with immediate effect.
No further disciplinary action will be taken.
Unless, of course, he fails to meet his next laughter target.
Overall rating: OUTSTANDING
Final HR determination:
H.R. The Musical deserves a bonus and promotion.
Employee’s comment:
“I have nothing further to add, except that I would like my union representative present at the next appraisal.”
Outcome:
PASS – with flying commendation.
